50 Best Father's Day Jokes, Father's Day, Jokes, Humor,

1. Why did the dad cross the road? To get to the other side of the dad joke.

2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

4. I'm reading a book on the history of glue - I just can't seem to put it down.

5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

8. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.

10. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

11. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

12. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.

13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

14. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.

15. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

17. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

18. I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

19. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

20. Why don't ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.

21. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

22. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

23. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

24. I'm reading a book about teleportation. It's bound to get me somewhere.

25. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

26. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

27. Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing.

28. I'm reading a book on the history of glue - I just can't seem to stick with it.

29. Why don't ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.

30. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

31. Why don't sharks live on land? Because they can't breathe out of water.

32. I'm reading a book on the history of the umbrella. It's going to be a long one - I can feel it.

33. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.

34. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast.

35. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.

36. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

37. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.

38. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

39. Why did the robot go on a diet? It had a screw loose.

40. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

41. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.

42. What do you call a horse that can't run? A hayburner.

43. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.

44. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

45. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

46. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed.

47. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

48. Why did the banana go to the doctor again? Because it was still not peeling well.

49. What do you call a bear with no ears? B.

50. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.