40 jokes That Will Appeal to Your Dark Side, Humor, Dark humor memes

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

5. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.

6. I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down.

7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

8. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

10. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

11. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.

12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

13. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.

14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

15. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.

16. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

17. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

18. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

19. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.

20. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.

21. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

22. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

23. What do you call a cow that's just given birth? De-calf-inated.

24. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

25. What do you call a cat that can walk on water? A purrr-acuda.

26. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

27. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

28. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.

29. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.

30. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

31. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

32. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

33. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

34. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

35. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

36. Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.

37. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

38. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

39. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

40. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.