101 Good, Clean Jokes That'll Make You Laugh - Parade

1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

3. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.

4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

5. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

6. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.

7. Why couldn't the bicycle find its way home? Because it lost its bearings.

8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

10. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

11. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"

12. Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.

13. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up pants.

14. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

15. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

16. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

17. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

18. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

19. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.

20. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.

21. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

22. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

23. Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.

24. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it already had drumsticks.

25. Why do ghosts go to the bar? For the boos.

26. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

27. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.

28. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.

29. Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.

30. Why do people tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast.

31. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.

32. Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to have hot dough.

33. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

34. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

35. Why did the man put his money in the washing machine? He wanted clean money.

36. Why did the man put his money in the elevator? He wanted his money to go up.

37. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

38. Why did the man put his money in the mailbox? He wanted to send his money to the bank.

39. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make a smoothie.

40. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

41. Why did the woman put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold hard cash.

42. Why did the man put his money in the microwave? He wanted hot dough.

43. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

44. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!

45. Why did the man put his money in the vending machine? He wanted some change.

46. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was blushing at the thought of being in a salad.

47. Why did the man put his money in the toilet? He wanted to flush his funds.

48. Why do the French like to eat snails so much? They don't like fast food.

49. Why did the man put his money in the pot? He wanted to make some dough.

50. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was embarrassed for being a fruit.

51. Why did the man put his money in the trunk? He wanted to make a deposit.

52. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

53. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the ketchup bottle.

54. Why did the man put his money in the piano? He wanted to play some notes.

55. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was ripe for ajoke.

56. Why did the man put his money in the aquarium? He wanted to see his cash flow.

57. Why don't ghosts use elevators? They lift their spirits.

58. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was sun-kissed.

59. Why did the man put his money in the garden? He wanted it to grow.

60. Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

61. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was blushing at the thought of being a vegetable.

62. Why did the man put his money in the gym? He wanted to work his assets.

63. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to catch up to the other veggies.

64. Why did the man put his money in the library? He wanted to check out some interest.

65. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was feeling saucy.

66. Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to bake some dough.

67. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was tired of being green.

68. Why did the man put his money in the car? He wanted to drive his money home.

69. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was ripe for the picking.

70. Why did the man put his money in the piggy bank? He wanted to make some bacon.

71. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was a little too ripe.

72. Why did the man put his money in the tree? He wanted to see his money grow.

73. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the hot peppers.

74. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted to keep his assets frozen.

75. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was getting angry.

76. Why did the man put his money in the safe? He wanted to keep his assets secure.

77. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was too hot to handle.

78. Why did the man put his money in the suitcase? He wanted to take his assets on the go.

79. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was feeling spicy.

80. Why did the man put his money in the vacuum cleaner? He wanted to clean up his assets.

81. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was feeling ripe for a joke.

82. Why did the man put his money in the mailbox? He wanted to send his assets to the bank.

83. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was ready to be eaten.

84. Why did the man put his money in the toolbox? He wanted to fix his finances.

85. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to blend in with the other vegetables.

86. Why did the man put his money in the treasure chest? He wanted to keep his assets safe.

87. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to be like the other fruits.

88. Why did the man put his money in the refrigerator? He wanted to keep his assets cool.

89. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to be tomato sauce.

90. Why did the man put his money in the wall? He wanted to invest in his house.

91. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to impress the other vegetables.

92. Why did the man put his money in the washing machine? He wanted to clean his assets.

93. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to catch the eye of the chef.

94. Why did the man put his money in the wardrobe? He wanted to dress up his finances.

95. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to be a firetruck.

96. Why did the man put his money in the wallet? He wanted to keep his assets on hand.

97. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to be a stop sign.

98. Why did the man put his money in the water bottle? He wanted to stay hydrated financially.

99. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was feeling ripe for a punchline.

100. Why did the man put his money in the wine bottle? He wanted to age his assets.

101. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was trying to be a red pepper.