Laugh Out Loud: 50 Jokes for Everyone

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

6. Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.

7. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

8. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

10. Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.

11. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.

12. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

13. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.

14. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

15. Why did the man put his money in the elevator? He wanted his money to go up.

16. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

17. Why did the man put his money in the mailbox? He wanted to send his money to the bank.

18. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.

19. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make a smoothie.

20. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a barbecue? Frank.

21. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

22. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.

23. Why did the man put his money in the toilet? He wanted to flush his funds.

24. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vegetable? Frostbite.

25. Why did the man put his money in the vending machine? He wanted some change.

26. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a beach? Sandy.

27. Why did the man put his money in the piggy bank? He wanted to save his bacon.

28. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a bird? Frostbite.

29. Why did the man put his money in the guitar? He wanted to make some notes.

30. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? Matt.

31. Why did the man put his money in the car? He wanted to have some change for the toll.

32. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a fish? Frostbite.

33. Why did the man put his money in the piano? He wanted to play some keys.

34. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a farm? Joe.

35. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was thinking of its crush.

36. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a tree? Frostbite.

37. Why did the man put his money in the hat? He wanted to have a tip.

38. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a race track? Miles.

39. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was blushing at the thought of being in a joke.

40. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a banana? Frostbite.

41. Why did the man put his money in the fridge? He wanted to have some cold hard cash.

42. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a pizza? Sal.

43. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the tomato sauce.

44. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a flower? Frostbite.

45. Why did the man put his money in the jacket? He wanted some change for the coat.

46. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a stage? Curt.

47. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was ripe for a joke.

48. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a carrot? Frostbite.

49. Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to have hot dough.

50. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a boat? Skip.